Kids Gone Wild – New York Times
Rude behavior, particularly toward adults, was something for which children had to be chastised, even punished. That has also now changed, said Dan Kindlon, a Harvard University child psychologist and author of “Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age.”
Most parents, Dr. Kindlon said, would like their children to be polite, considerate and well behaved. But they’re too tired, worn down by work and personally needy to take up the task of teaching them proper behavior at home.
“We use kids like Prozac,” he said. “People don’t necessarily feel great about their spouse or their job but the kids are the bright spot in their day. They don’t want to muck up that one moment by getting yelled at. They don’t want to hurt. They don’t want to feel bad. They want to get satisfaction from their kids. They’re so precious to us – maybe more than to any generation previously. What gets thrown out the window is limits. It’s a lot easier to pick their towel up off the floor than to get them away from the PlayStation to do it.”
If stress and strain, self-centeredness and competition are the pathogens underlying the rash of rudeness perceived to be endemic among children in America today, then the cure, some experts said, has to be systemic and not topical. Stop blaming the children, they said. Stop focusing on the surface level of behavior and start curing instead the social, educational and parental ills that feed it.
This may mean less “quality” time with children and more time getting them to do things they don’t want to do, like sitting for meals, making polite conversation and – Madonna was right – picking their clothes up off the floor.”
The problem that I see with this theory? There are a lot of plainly rude parents out there raising rude kids. It’s not always about attention to the kids or overindulging. It’s about how the adults who are parents treat others in the presence of their children.
Teaching your kids to pick up their clothes and make polite conversation is fine, but if they don’t see US doing it, why should they?
