If someone had told me 25 years ago when the Eldest was born that I would be sitting in front of a table in an auditorium from 8am to 8pm selling DVDs to parents of aspiring jazz greats, I’d have laughed in their face and cavalierly said “Nevernotme!”.
But that’s what I did today. And it was worth every minute.
Have you ever had the experience of trying to see something clearly and in focus but it just seemed to remain out of your visual grasp until you moved slightly or just waited until it got closer, then suddenly it snapped into perfect clarity?
I’ve done a lot of bragging about Sticks here, a lot of whining about the drums being everywhere and the schlep time involved in getting him and the drums where he needs to go, and it’s all been true and heartfelt. At the same time, I can honestly say that although people tell me he’s a great drummer, I’ve never really been able to wrap my mind around whether or not that’s the case, whether he’s reaching up and touching pipe dreams or the real thing, or whether I’m simply a deluded, biased mommy. It’s all been out of focus for me, just slightly. I see the main shape, but not the details. That is, until today.
I got 2 hours of sleep last night because of the preparations needed for my DVD salesman stint and sleepily packed everything up this morning and headed off to Moorpark College, which was hosting their annual Jazz Festival and competition. The first group performed at 9:30; the last at 6:30. Sticks was performing with his high school jazz band, the college Latin combo and the college jazz band, beginning at 4:30 pm. A long, long day.
When the high school band was ready to perform I got one of the kids in the college band to watch the DVD booth so I could jump into the nearest phone booth and emerge as
Stage Mom
…ready to cheer him on.
Instead I was speechless.
Without a doubt, he gave one of the best performances I’ve ever seen him give, not just from a skill standpoint but also from a performance standpoint. From the first note that band played he had total control of the music, the pace, and it was just grand. When he did the Buddy Rich solo in Big Swing Face, I could hear the underlying tune in the drum solo. That was the nickel dropping…I finally got it.
I know I’m bragging here and I apologize, but this was just a magic second and it’s one that I think all of us have with our kids, no matter what it is they may be doing at the time. For me it was this setting, but it could be just as magic in the kitchen or campground for you.
I saw two things: 1) Unbridled passion from him for what he loves most — drums and music; and 2) Amazing appreciation from the audience for what he was doing on that stage. I’ve been to a lot of jazz festivals over the years but was completely unprepared for the response they gave him for his playing.
It was in that second that I understood that he really did have something worth making that investment of time and effort and energy and money. Whether he is ever a professional drummer or not, having the dream and the dedication to put himself out there on the stage, holding nothing back and being lost in the pure joy of what he was doing — what he has been trained to do — gave everyone there watching a moment they won’t forget.
The cool thing is that as electric as the performance was, that wasn’t what put things into focus for me. What sharpened everything was the HEART I saw him put out there on that stage — the risky business of saying “This is who I am and what I’m about — I hope you like it.”
And we did. All of us. What’s not to like about seeing the shape of our kid’s heart and passion in sharp focus and knowing that as far as we were able, we gave them the freedom and opportunity to pursue it?
Happy Mother’s Day!
To my mom, a special happy Mother’s Day for giving me the freedom and opportunities, too. It was your belief in me that inspired me to keep reaching for the next goal, and that’s still true today.
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