(This is the first post in a series about different facets of BlogHer 2006 — I’m starting from the end and working toward the beginning — it’s easier for me to think that way).

One of the big themes of the closing keynote was dealing with fear - of motherhood, of taking risks with careers, of change, of making mistakes. It was interesting to me to go search Technorati to see what my fellow Bloghers are saying about fear.

Lia, one of the bloggers for the Silicon Valley Moms Blog wrote that she was dreading Blogher in a way because it raised those old memories of being in Jr. High School watching the “IN” crowd from the sidelines. I’ll bet she had a great time and didn’t let those fears get in her way. I know that Jill (one of the Silicon Valley Moms Blog founders) had a great time but she didn’t conquer all her fears because she saw Dooce (Heather Armstrong) but didn’t have the nerve to approach.

Now let’s back up just a minute on that one, because I heard that very same fear expressed by at least six people over the weekend. I read Dooce, but that doesn’t mean I’d know her if I saw her. And obviously I didn’t know her or see her, because I can recall seeing people who looked familiar to me but I didn’t place the name and face together and those name badges were tough to read.

Maybe it’s my background dealing with celebrity clients over the years or something, but I truly don’t understand why anyone would have a fear of approaching another blogger and saying “howdy”, simply because they have a large following. I think it’s great that they have a large following, but it’s not a reason to run the other way, particularly from someone whose writing you enjoy.

I’d say from Dooce’s blog that she’s a pretty down-to-earth real person with little pretense, so why not approach and say “Hi”? If any of you reading this were one of the ones afraid to approach a so-called “A-lister”, here’s my challenge: Before Blogher 2007, resolve to overcome that fear, because it really IS one that you can leave behind with nothing but benefit — no negatives attached.

I literally interrupted Maryam Scoble in the middle of a fairly intense conversation because I wasn’t sure I’d have another opportunity to thank her for her sweet comments on the blog and introduce myself to her. She is as sweet in person as she is on the blog. Meeting her was like a Godiva chocolate: exquisitely wonderful, sweet and memorable even after it was gone. Robert Scoble was flitting like a butterfly with his video cam, so the best I could do with him was to grab a shot of him and his video camera during the lunch keynote with Catarina Fake and Meg Hourihan.

And as I’ve mentioned before, Nancy White and Molly are two of my most admired blogging women. I was lucky enough to be in Nancy’s community session on Friday and then again in the “Get Deeply Geeky session. I bribed her with an Ethernet cable to share her joy at being at Blogher by doing the “Nancy Dance”. Now I just have to meet Molly one of these days.

Back to the fear theme, Ariana Huffington was one of the keynoters and as hard as I was on her earlier this year, I have to say that when it comes to common ground, like fear and life and disappointment and how to deal with it, she was inspiring. I give her grudging respect (I still disagree with her but hey, credit where it’s due) for being willing to take risks, run with her gut, and be a pretty, funny, dynamic live speaker. I don’t like how she plays on TV, but she is very engaging in person.

One of the speakers that just knocked my socks off was Mena Trott from Six Apart. Funny, dynamic, great story, great background, terrific speaker. She is someone I want Dancergirl to look to for inspiration. Impressive.

The quote of the day came from Grace Davis toward the end of the session when she summed up her attitudes toward facing fears this way: “By [facing those fears], I am doing what I’ve wanted to do since I was ten years old.” You go, girl!

There were lots of different areas where I heard people express fear. In the session on “Getting Deeply Geeky”, a lot of emotion came through about frustration by women in tech feeling held down by their male managers and counterparts, and was answered with a call to action to step out and overcome their fears of going into business for themselves. From one who has done that, I hope that each and every one of you come to Blogher 2007 with a story of how the year that passed brought you to that point and past any fears and apprehension you might have. Here’s Nancy’s chart of that session to inspire you:

Here are some that I was lucky enough to meet and/or hear from who are fearless:

Thoroughly Modern Millie, Steve Garfield’s 81-year old mom, has been blogging and stood up in the morning general session to explain that blogging has replaced her usual date with the Boston Globe. She so reminds me of my own grandmother — so feisty, smart, savvy and a great woman! Subscribe to her blog for inspiration about being fearless. She doesn’t talk about being fearless, she just IS.

The kids from Smashcast.org, who I was fortunate to hear twice — once in the Geeky session and in the Group blogging session. These. kids. are. awesome. There is no other way to say it. My particular favorite is feisty Iris Bravo, who would not take “NO” for an answer when cursorily denied consideration for the top high school in the new city she just moved to. She persisted and persisted and wouldn’t be intimidated. She finally was able to get a meeting with the principal of the school who was shocked that she’d been passed over for consideration in the beginning. All of these kids are impressive. They’re smart, savvy, articulate, passionate, and committed to changing the world they live in. They will.

The coolest comment from them? When asked what their parents did to end up with such great kids, Iris answers with “Even when you think your kids hate you, we look up to our parents and consider them role models. You are our first and best role models.” Yes, tear time for me.

There were many more. All of us are conquering fears. For me, being in a crowd of 700 is manageable only for very short periods of time. I was also concerned about cliques, which I didn’t handle well in school. I have always been the person who crossed in and out of a lot of different groups, never “sticking” in one or the other, always just sort of touching on the edges. This was no different for me, and I am not naturally gregarious. But I pushed myself to try to be, because so much of my time is spent online and I’d like to use the bandwidth here to give people something beautiful to look at, inspiring to read, or helpful to them, which means finding my place in the larger network.

Stepping out of my fear box meant starting conversations with total strangers, looking at lots of name tags to find the people who do comment here and starting a face-to-face conversation with them (a topic for a different post), handing out cards to people, hearing someone talk about ADHD blogs in a session and brazenly leaving a card with them — all things that I do not do naturally.

Denise has it right (as usual!) — enter the group, contribute to the conversation, use your voice and forget your fears.

To me, that was one of the main Blogher 2006 lessons.

Technorati Tags: fear, friends, Bloghercon