Okay, I’m sitting here writing a post on fleas when the local news starts reporting on that weird illness where people have crawly sensations and fibers coming out of their skin which has now makes me feel even more crawly. (Morgellons) I am starting to consider a self-examination for fibers except that I know fibers are not my problem.
We are suffering through an onslaught of fleas — actually, SUPERFLEAS — that appear to be immune to every possible remedy. I’m sure that if I looked closely enough at them, I would see tiny red capes affixed to their bodies with the letter F bronzed on their tiny little flea chests.
Nothing kills them. Nothing deters them. Nothing stops them.
I have put Advantage on her faithfully once a month, baths once a week, and still she settles down next to me, starts snoring, and then I see IT.
A small moving THING. A THING that doesn’t belong on my dog. It belongs less on my bed, my couch, my carpet, or my body, but dang! What is that thing?
I should add here that at the time I noticed this, people were drinking blended Stink Bugs and sour milk in an effort to procure 2 $2500 debit cards on Fear Factor, a show I usually avoid like the plague because it’s so disgusting sometimes. So I was already at about a 10 on the grossout spectrum, but still…
I look closer. There are MANY small black creatures crawling on her, seeking a stronghold. It seems as though the Advantage is repelling them, but not killing them. I count one, two, four, eight…crawling in and out of her dense, soft fur. She is teeming with fleas and she is on MY BED.
Time for the BGFG (big giant frickin’ gun). Out comes the flea spray for the dog and for the furniture, carpet, etc. Vacuum everything, wash the sheets and blankets on the bed for the zillionth time this month and spray The Pug. The Pug hates to be sprayed. Despises it. When she is sprayed she drags her butt on the floor and turns in circles like a manic, sex-crazed dog stuck on a spindle.
We then spend the next hour combing the dead fleas out of her fur, harvesting them like genocidal maniacs.
These fleas are the worst I’ve ever seen. Nothing seems to get rid of them, and it’s been a relatively mild weather run lately. All ideas are welcome, because now even the touch of my hair makes me crawl. Please tell me fleas just bite people and don’t settle in for the winter on them!
All suggestions for the permanent eradication of fleas on my pug, in my home, and the greenbelts where they lurk, waiting to leap on her are welcome.
Technorati Tags: fleas, pets, advantage, fear factor
