Is there one person in your childhood who still gets your blood boiling?  That one thorn in your side that you hope you never run into at a high school reunion or just on the street or worse still, professionally?  Mine was Randy Hancock.  As long as I live, I will never forget his flaming red hair, his snotty little laugh, the face that was more freckles than face or the way he faux-sneezed his way through our eighth and ninth grade English classes, claiming he was allergic to the stuffing in my bra.  Jerk. 

Of course, there was no stuffing, it was 100% the real thing and I hated him for calling attention to me at every single opportunity he had.  He was put on the planet for one reason only: To harass me to the point where I just wished I could be dead before going to English class again.  When he got bored with doing it on his own, he recruited three or four other buddies to join in so that the classroom became a veritable chorus of sneezes whenever I walked into the room. 

Randy was also the author of the “Nobody Really Likes Karoli” lyrics, sung to the tune from the Sara Lee commercial that was running at the time.  THOSE lyrics went like this:  “Everybody doesn’t like something, but nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee….” (bad, bad English, yes).  Randy’s were oh-so-clever for his time:  “Everybody really likes something, but nobody really likes Ka-ro-li…” 

My defense was to hang with the nerds and geeks and music folks and geniuses, reading and writing high-falutin’ poetry while considering Randy and his gang just a bunch of illiterate fool football jocks with too much time on their hands.  Setting my sights on far loftier ideals helped me keep my chin up but did nothing for my sagging morale. 

Just writing about it makes me want to strangle him.  Thinking about him makes my face flush just like I was sitting in that damn classroom right now.  I tell myself that by now he’s either gray or bald with a paunch, 2 kids and a fat 401K begging him to retire at 50, but it doesn’t undo the memory of the sting he inflicted day after day.   He was a hotshot football jock in high school, roaming through the popular crowds like a king on a mission.  By then,  I was someone unworthy of any attention from him, given my choice of friends and the fact that we (finally, mercifully) had no classes together.  I was grateful for that, grateful that he’d turned his attention elsewhere.  Still, the recollection of those days fills me with a white-hot indignation that itches like poison ivy in the middle of my back.  How is it that something so long ago and so insignificant in the greater scheme of things can leave such a visceral impression?

This weekend I landed over at the Can I Sit With You? blog where I spent hours reading through some of the amazing stories of growing up, dealing with life, bullies, parents, and school written by incredible writers.  I’d considered writing my own story, but there were so many compelling stories, even stories of others suffering the ’sneeze treatment’ (It must have been written somewhere in pubescent boy lore and passed down) that I lost my nerve.  What an amazing collection.  Take a few minutes and read some of the stories there, because I know there’s one that will make you say “THAT WAS ME!”.

And of course, that’s exactly what they are hoping.  This collaborative effort is intended to encourage kids who are living that same pain and angst and send them the clear message that they will come out on the other side.  Submissions for the published book are now closed, but they’re still publishing submissions to the blog.   Tell yours.  Read theirs.  Share it with a kid who might need to hear that they’re going to live through it even if it feels like they won’t. And when the book is published, consider buying it to support their Special Education PTA (SEPTAR) which is in desperate need of funding.

And if I had ever heard about any son of mine doing what Randy Hancock did, they’d have paid.  Heavily.  They would have become that girl’s willing slave for the rest of their middle school years.  Oh yes, they would definitely have rued the day they did that.

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Tags: canisitwithyou, septar, bullying, bully, angst, middle school, writing, writing project