Michael: My father made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
Kay Adams: What was that?
Michael: Luca Brasi held a gun to the bandleader’s head, and my father assured him that either his signature or his brains would be on the release

source: imdb

Edit: Of course, when one is writing about a “Fake Blog” one should remember that it is, indeed, fake. Score another one for Lucy.

After Apple’s successful shutdown of Think Secret — the Apple rumor site run by an enterprising 18-year old which was surprisingly accurate — they’re going after the next thorn in their side: Fake Steve Jobs. Evidently Apple is trying to wrap up their 2007 to-do list by forcing voices which are humorous, sometimes critical, sometimes spot-on, to go silent. It gives the title “Silent Night” a whole new meaning.

From the FSJ blog, encounter #1:

Bottom line is I’ve received an overture from the Mothership with a mention of a Think Secret type settlement if I’ll stop impersonating Dear Leader on the Web.

The following day, encounter #2:

Just got an angry letter from their legal douchebags (a real letterhead legal letter, PDF attached to an email) saying if we are going to go forward then we both need to be dealing in good faith and part of that is keeping negotiations confidential and this post I made about the offer causes them to question my sincerity blah blah mwah mwah.

And finally, the Offer He Can’t Refuse:

He says Apple hopes this can be a “conversation rather than a confrontation” [isn't Johnnie Cochran dead? ed.] and that before I turn this into a public fight by continuing on my current “course of action” I should perhaps consider the potentially serious consequences to myself and my family of doing so.

And just in case he wasn’t taking them seriously, this:

And then, I swear to friggin God, there’s a list of my assets with an estimated value for each and I suppose the implied threat that I stand to lose them.

Here’s the thing: Apple has what I consider to be one of the most revered brand names out there. When people are willing to accept hardware failures that would be wholly unacceptable if they came from any major PC manufacturer, when the mere rumor of a new Apple product stirs the tech bloggers into a frenzy, when people are willing to get a second cell phone number just to have an iPhone, what is their big problem? If they had a sense of humor about everything and just let it pass, it would actually enhance their brand. But when they pull out the machine guns and whisper, “We’re making an offer you can’t refuse.”, they look like the petty, legalistic, controlling asshats that their lawyers mean for them to be.

I’ve been considering a MacBook for DG as her combined Christmas/Birthday present. It’s difficult for me to imagine why I’d want to hand even a penny more of profit over to a company that can’t get enough of a sense of humor to handle blog buzz without flying off their handles this way. Seems to me that Apple is getting just a little bit too big for their britches. Or at least, their lawyers are.

I cannot even imagine the kind of negativity that would fly around if Microsoft or Google tried this. Why does Apple keep getting a pass for their bad behavior? Is the 2007 Apple one that looks pretty on the outside but is rotten to the core?

Technorati Tags: Apple, Fake Steve Jobs, Think Secret, indimidation, legal, threats, Godfather, threats, FSJ