Words hurt. My words hurt others. I am deeply sorry.

by Karoli on October 15, 2010 · 60 comments

I will expand this post later, but this is what I have to say right now. I posted a tweet that said this:

I have supported gay rights steadfastly but I’m getting sick of the presumption that they trump everything else.

Those words hurt many in the gay community and were insensitive to say in the climate of kids being bullied and committing suicide. It was a frustrated response to the tactics around current DADT happenings and reactions, it was insensitive, poorly worded, and I know better.

At a time where kids are being bullied and committing suicide over their sexuality, where the legal battle is at peak pitch over the rights of the LGBT community to serve in our military and to marry, I should have kept my hands off the keyboard and my temper in check. I didn’t, and it caused pain to people I consider friends and allies.

All I can offer is a heartfelt apology for my insensitivity. All I can hope for is forgiveness. Whether or not that comes, I will continue to work online and offline to see Proposition 8, DADT and DOMA repealed.

Thanks for reading this.

Tagged as: Politics

Fpaynter

Did you see the editorial in the dead tree version of the Nation this week, Karoli? It’s about scapegoating and only tangentially related to the issues being discussed here. Nevertheless, I thought of you when I read it, and I thought about the traumatic circumstances of your misstep or whatever it was. I know you have the strength of character and the intellect to drive through this rough patch. We need your insight and your clarity, your strength of purpose and commitment to the truth. Looking forward to your next post!
whiteman

the only thing Boxer is good for is to stand in a coner of a bar naked and spred
eagle to be used as an ash-tray or a conversation piece,and the only way she gets
re-elected is to have nasty polosi shit in her yeast infected panties and have her
(boxer)wear them on her crust infected head along with that “throw back ape”
who hangs on the muslim/nig/wanna be dictator obama ape, and yes i am a bigot
who wants to get the trash out of my country!!!!!
http://twitter.com/thAutcast Vector

If you had meant ANY of this– any of it at all– you would not be crowing over the torture of a gay person who is merely accused of an act of civil disobedience. One may
“disagree”over whether or not what Manning is accused of doing should be punished at all– but anyone who has no sympathy at all for him being kept in conditions that international organizations who study the issue do identify as torture– not because his behavior merits it– but only because of what he was accused of– really has no understanding of how soul-destroying and embittering a policy like DADT is.
http://www.drumsnwhistles.com/ Karoli

Your post is the first post I’ve read specifying that he’s gay. It did not enter my mind for even one moment when I made my remarks which you characterize as crowing and which I characterize as pushback on the notion that he’s being tortured or is somehow a hero.

Until you wrote this, I had no idea he was gay, or under the provisions of DADT. It is the very. first. I’ve. heard of it.

It’s also not relevant to whether or not his detention is appropriate. You’re not saying he’s being kept in solitary confinement because he’s gay are you? I’m certain it has more to do with downloading oodles of classified documents and turning them over to someone who isn’t even an American for widespread distribution.

I view his distress inflicted upon him as a result of DADT to be a deeper wound that deserves apologies from our government, if in fact it is the case. (As I said, you’re the first person I’ve seen say so). But he didn’t choose to download random state department documents and turn them over because he’s gay, or because of DADT. I say this because presumably it would have come out in the general reports of his detention that he was being persecuted because he was gay. In fact, he is being detained because he is suspected of breaking a written agreement not to give classified documents to anyone without getting prior approval from a senior officer.

I also doubt he’s the only one who’s done it, and if they’re able to prove allegations against others involved, they should also be detained, investigated and face a court martial.
http://twitter.com/thAutcast Vector

I’m saying that a gay person like Manning is more likely to be treated harshly and unfairly by the military than a straight person is. Again, read about what has happened to the people who tortured Joseph Rocha (nothing) before deciding that Manning’s sexual orientation is not relevant to the way he is being treated. It’s like saying someone was imprisoned for crack cocaine, not for being black.

As for not knowing that Manning is gay, and that it has been reported that DADT likely did play a role (Matt Taibbi– google) in his alienation from the armed forces–

Is it really okay to completely withdraw compassion from someone without learning anything about them based exclusively on what they have been accused of doing?

Why ridicule the concerns of people who are worried about Manning without bothering to learning anything at all who the man is?
http://twitter.com/thAutcast Vector

Also, please remember (or go look at) the photos of John Walker Lindh.

Read Ann Coulter’s piece calling Brad Manning the poster boy for DADT.

Recall the number of African American soldiers lynched in their uniforms.

DADT repeal puts Manning in further jeopardy.

Boo hoo?
http://www.drumsnwhistles.com/ Karoli

vector, I don’t read Ann Coulter. Blech. And I’m aware of African American lynchings, but I’m really confused now. You’re telling me on the one hand he’s being persecuted for being gay, and on the other hand you’re telling me DADT repeal puts him in further jeopardy.

If the latter is true, then solitary confinement would seem to be appropriate protection for him. If the former is true, then DADT repeal should jeopardize him less, not more. Which is it?

And we still have the problem of a whole lot of classified documents which he agreed not to give to anyone without permission or orders being given to someone who isn’t a US citizen. That problem has absolutely nothing to do with his sexual orientation whatsoever, unless you’re saying that somehow he rebelled against the DADT policy by turning over classified documents?
http://www.drumsnwhistles.com/ Karoli

Vector, maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I confess — I’m stuck on the fact that he allegedly intentionally downloaded thousands of classified documents and turned them over to WikiLeaks/Assange. Do you think a straight guy would receive softer treatment for that same act? I don’t.

I have personal knowledge which I can’t really fully disclose without violating others’ privacy about what happens when even minor infractions are committed, and it is identical to this, though for a shorter duration. These infractions were as minor as showing up for duty after a 2-week leave with alcohol on one’s breath, for example. Treatment was the same.

My reaction comes from my own dismay at the crime with which he is under investigation for committing. I am not sure if you’re suggesting he didn’t commit these crimes and is being set up, or if you’re saying he committed them because of DADT, or if you’re saying you don’t know if he did it or not but he is being treated more harshly because of his sexual orientation.

At any rate, it’s Christmas, and I certainly do hope that he is given some relief from what is surely a difficult and miserable situation. And I will continue to reconsider my opinion on the rest of it. Perhaps it wasn’t communicated as well as it could have been, and perhaps there are extenuating circumstances but frankly, I still think that IF he was the one who turned those documents over, it was a choice for which he knew the consequences if discovered.
http://twitter.com/thAutcast Vector

What I’m saying, Karoli, is that there are a variety of very legitimate reasons to be concerned about Bradley Manning’s well-being. I’m saying that there is proof that gay people are treated more harshly than straight people and given you one example that you can look at to see that I am not merely speculating.

I doubt very seriously that the people you know found with their liquor on their breath were required to reply to a guard every five minutes. I bet they were allowed blankets, and I bet they not awakened if they were not visible through a small window while sleeping. Even if they were, if you think living under those conditions for a couple of weeks is anything like living under them for seven months, you are insane.

I think before declaring someone completely unworthy on compassion– and do you think you did anything else with Manning?– you had better know for sure they’re guilty– he has not been tried. You’d better have some idea of what happened in his life that led to his actions– you didn’t even learn one thing about Manning’s situation before condemning him.

Can you see why you made many people so angry that they attacked you venomously? Again, there are legitimate reasons to be concerned about him– do you understand that now? Can you see how heartless your comment came off to those of us who knew what they are?
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