Rest in peace, George Carlin. We paid tribute today on Newsgang Live in the most fitting way we could imagine.

Listen .

I love this picture. It so perfectly depicts the differences between my Mom and me. She’s looking straight at the camera, smiling, confident (I have yet to see a camera that didn’t love her on sight), and I’m looking aside, sort of engaged and sort of distracted, all at once. Yep, that was me, flighty, flitty girl, wandering off either in my mind or body to whatever looked interesting at the time.

Were it not for the things my mom taught me, I wouldn’t have had the skills to fry an egg much less manage a life. Mom had a job from the time I was born, so to me, it was a given that women worked. It wasn’t until I was old enough to notice that my friends’ moms stayed home that I began to understand how different she was from the rest, and what a trailblazer HER mother was for not only working, but having a successful career and retiring at just about the time women were starting to push for equality in the workplace. Grandma was years ahead of her time, and she passed that same ethic to my mom, who passed it to me.

Being the drifty child that I was, I remember Mom getting in my face and telling me to use my common sense about things. If I was supposed to be home at five, I’d darn well better have a watch or a way to know what time it is, because I’m expected to be home at five. If she was working, I should be able to feed myself, and she taught me to cook the basic things early on. My mom knows how to gets stuff done. And she taught me how to get stuff done, even if it meant doing it myself and in unconventional ways. If it needed to be done, it got done. It still gets done. My mom is the best when it comes to that — she’s a go-to person.

My passion for politics came straight from Mom. She has always been involved and engaged in the political process, right in the center of it, where possible. In 1960, she worked at the Democratic convention here in LA when JFK was nominated. And as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, she was also working the night RFK was assassinated in LA, phoning in primary election returns to CBS so they could report in as near to real time as they could get.

I’m sure it made her mad as hell when I rebelled in 1972 and joined my Republican friends to get out the vote for Nixon, and yet she never once drilled me with I-told-you-so digs when I spent the entire summer of 1974 watching the Watergate hearings and realizing I’d been duped, big time. She had more class than that, and welcomed me back into the fold of friendly Democrats with a wink and a nod, unlike other family members who STILL needle me about it.

For all of her practical leanings, my Mom is an artist at heart and in her soul. Whether it was drawing, or painting murals on the bedroom wall, or making those sequined calendars every single year for the relatives (yes, I think she sewed sequins on about 15 years worth of calendars altogether), or making me dresses that really were cool to wear to school, or painting my bedroom in all the shades of lavender that any respectable purple-loving girl could want, my mom is truly an artist. It’s her creativity that I love the most. I’m wearing earrings that she made out of antique buttons for me, and I still have the shawl she crocheted for me back in the 70’s when crocheted shawls were all the rage. Mom showed me how to be creative, to be artistic, but still keep both feet on the ground.

Mom lives the “don’t be afraid to try” motto, which is why she ordered up a Dell laptop for herself about 8 years ago or so and went from wondering what a mouse was to being a power seller on EBay in short order. She’s not afraid to try, she’s not afraid to learn, and she’s not afraid to ask when she doesn’t understand how something works.

Above all, though, my mom is a giver. With her time, her attention, her money, and her encouragement. There was a time where we were driving somewhere and came upon an accident in an intersection ahead. Without even thinking, Mom was out of the car, helping with first aid to the victims. One of them was a hemophiliac, and no ambulances had arrived on the scene. We were about a half-mile from the hospital, so without so much as a skipped beat, Mom bundled the lady into the front seat of the car and said she’d just drive her up to the emergency room.

I can remember being a little bit scared, but mostly surprised that my mom didn’t care that this person was bleeding all over her car, that she didn’t even know her, and that she was taking over like she’d done it all her life. (My dad, on the other hand, would never have let someone bleed in HIS car…perish the thought). As it happened, the ambulance arrived just as she was going to go, so she handed the lady back to the paramedics (or whatever they were at that time) since they had on-the-spot resources to help with her condition.

Later I asked why she had done that. She explained what a ‘bleeder’ was, and asked me this: “If you had a choice between helping or not, and you knew time was of the essence, and you knew this person could bleed to death waiting, what would YOU have done?”

I have never forgotten that lesson. That was driven home clearly. If you have a way to help someone from dying, being hurt, being hungry, being sick, DO IT. Don’t let people suffer when you can help. Don’t wait for someone else. DO IT.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. In your honor, and because you taught me to, I am making a donation in your name to the BlogHer Global Giving initiative to help the Myanmar/Burma cyclone victims. Global Giving has people on the ground there, helping already, so this is a situation where giving really can make a horrible, tragic situation better. Despite confirmation of over 61,000 victims, I can still help the ones who are still alive.

Of everything you taught me, Mom, that lesson matters most. Make a difference where you can.

I’ve read Obsidian Wings from time to time, but am not a regular subscriber. One of their regular bloggers was a soldier by the name of Andrew Olmsted, who was blogging from Iraq. His job in Iraq was to train members of the Iraqi Army. He explains his reasons for going to Iraq here. Andrew Olmstead was killed in Iraq yesterday, and left a final blog post to be posted in the event of his death. Here is an excerpt:

Obsidian Wings: Andy Olmsted

Regardless of the merits of this war, or of any war, I think that many of us in America have forgotten that war means death and suffering in wholesale lots. A decision that for most of us in America was academic, whether or not to go to war in Iraq, had very real consequences for hundreds of thousands of people. Yet I was as guilty as anyone of minimizing those very real consequences in lieu of a cold discussion of theoretical merits of war and peace. Now I’m facing some very real consequences of that decision; who says life doesn’t have a sense of humor?

But for those who knew me and feel this pain, I think it’s a good thing to realize that this pain has been felt by thousands and thousands (probably millions, actually) of other people all over the world. That is part of the cost of war, any war, no matter how justified. If everyone who feels this pain keeps that in mind the next time we have to decide whether or not war is a good idea, perhaps it will help us to make a more informed decision. Because it is pretty clear that the average American would not have supported the Iraq War had they known the costs going in. I am far too cynical to believe that any future debate over war will be any less vitriolic or emotional, but perhaps a few more people will realize just what those costs can be the next time.

I hope you’ll read the entire post and honor his wishes not to politicize his death. I am doing my best. I wish I’d spent time reading his blog posts before he died, because he was clearly a man of integrity and high principles, who put a lot of thought and heart into his reasons for going to Iraq whether or not he agreed with the reasons for the war.

That final post, it speaks to me. It reminds me to be less rhetorical, more real. More mindful of what is being sacrificed there and the reasons for the sacrifice. In the end, it’s just incredibly sad, wise, and profound. I hope his family mourns a little less when they read this:

On a similar note, while you’re free to think whatever you like about my life and death, if you think I wasted my life, I’ll tell you you’re wrong. We’re all going to die of something. I died doing a job I loved. When your time comes, I hope you are as fortunate as I was.

Most of all, I hope his prediction of the fate of what he has written and discussed and argued and shared on his blog is untrue:

I write this in part, admittedly, because I would like to think that there’s at least a little something out there to remember me by. Granted, this site will eventually vanish, being ephemeral in a very real sense of the word, but at least for a time it can serve as a tiny record of my contributions to the world.

My heartfelt condolences go out to his family, friends, and the community of bloggers who knew him best, and I hope everything he wrote is preserved as a ‘tiny record of his contributions to the world’.

Technorati Tags: Andrew Olmsted, Iraq, life, death, war, military

I’ve said this before: Music is the mark of moments in my life. “Leader of the Band” was one of BD and my favorites when we were dating. Rest in peace, Dan Fogelberg. You fought that cancer long and hard and it’s time to rest. We’ll miss you.

Technorati Tags: Dan Fogelberg, music, tribute

In honor of 9-11, a post of remembrance for the victims on that day alongside the lost young men and women whose lives are at risk with each passing day in Iraq and Afghanistan. The most recent count:

9-11 Victims

• New York City Known Victims: 2,603
• New York City Presumed Dead: 24
• American Airlines passengers - NYC: 88
• United Airlines passengers - NYC: 59
• Arlington, VA Known Victims: 125
• American Airlines passengers: 59
• Shanksville, PA Known Victims: 40
• Total 9-11 Victims: 2,998

Dead and Injured American Soldiers and Civilians in Iraq

• American Deaths in Iraq as of 9/10/2007: 3,774
• Americans Wounded in Iraq as of 9/10/2007: 27,767

Dead and Injured American Soldiers in Afghanistan

• American Deaths in Afghanistan as of 9/10/2007: 440
• Americans Wounded in Afghanistan as of 9/10/2007: 6,170

For you and I are one way ticket holders
on a one way street.
which lies across a golden valley
where the waters of joy and hope run deep.
So if you pass the parents weeping
of the young ones who have died,
take them to your warmth and keeping
for blessed are the tears they cried
and many were the years they tried.
Take them to that valley wide
and let their souls be pacified.

- “Blessed Are…” - Joan Baez, 1971

Technorati Tags: remembrance, 911, iraq, afghanistan

Opera is a difficult listen for most, and I’m no exception. But Luciano Pavarotti not only riveted me, he changed all of my perceptions about opera and its place in the larger landscape of musical performance. His talent was unrivaled and he will be missed.

Blogher has other tributes, also TheBizofKnowledge. More tributes can be found by searching blogs tagged “Pavarotti” at Technorati.

Technorati Tags: pavarotti, opera, tribute

I’d originally planned to post this tune earlier — it’s part of the set that Sticks did with the Gordon Goodwin/CSUN workshop earlier this month, but I forgot about it. Then tonight I received an email from my mother, letting me know that my stepfather’s mother passed away this morning. She was a wonderful lady, married over 60 years to the same man, full of zing and life and vigor. She was Texas through-and-through, and good people. (No one will ever make peach and cherry cobbler the way she did, either.) She was one of those people that was just happy and down-to-earth and a life-lover.

So, in honor of her, and without sadness (because she wouldn’t like that one bit), here’s a tune to send her off to Heaven….where she will be free of all of the suffering she endured at the end. She’s had a great life; we’re the poorer for her passing.

Edna, rest in peace while Sticks plays you up the 7 Steps to Heaven.

Last year I told you about my friend Sandee and the tragic drowning of her husband, CNN Reporter Larry LaMotte. I asked Sandee if she would like to post a message directly to the blog in tribute to Larry. The following is what she asked me to post. Today is a difficult day for her. Despite the passage of time, some anniversaries never become less painful. I know that if even one of you is more careful and takes her story into account, she will feel a little less pain. I love you Sandee, and miss Larry, too.

Sandee’s Message:

June 8, 2007. Four years ago today a rip current took my husband’s life.

It plays in my head like a movie. It was about 6 pm Florida time. I had just left Larry and the kids playing on a boogie board in the waves at the shoreline, walked the 100 yards from the beach and was washing lettuce at the sink when the kids burst in the front door of the cottage.

“Mommy, Mommy! Ryan couldn’t get his boogie board to come forward and Daddy went in to help and now Daddy’s gone!”

By the time I got to the beach Larry was dead. Floating face down in the waves. It took 20 agonizing minutes and the life of another before Larry’s body was rescued. Yes, another father, Ken Brindley, also lost his life to the rip current trying to help Larry. He left behind a loving wife and two small children. Somehow that is the hardest thing for me to face.

Here’s the catch: this wasn’t a freak accident. Six more people died that day in the rip currents along the Florida panhandle. Most of them drowned before Larry, the kids, and I set foot on the beach that day.

Why We Didn’t Know

Why didn’t we know there was danger? We were ignorant of rip currents. We lived inland, as most beach vacationers do, and our experience with water was the occasional boat on the lake or dip in the neighborhood swimming pool.

One of the women who drowned in Destin that day was actually a pool lifeguard. Rip currents are different, and if you don’t know how to face them, you can be an Olympic swimmer and still die battling the current.

There were no warnings. Contrary to what Walton County officials said at the time (this occurred at Grayton Beach, Florida, in Walton County, voted one of the most beautiful beaches in the nation), there were no bullhorns, no sheriff deputies pulling people out of the water — in fact the one deputy on the scene at 4 pm calmly drove past the crowd of bodies in the water and off the beach. There was a red flag, but the warning was obscure: “Red means there could be dangerous currents in the water.” No indication that currents occur at the shoreline and can suck you out to the depths within seconds. We looked across the crowds and decided the warnings were for the silly surfers riding those distant waves.

There were no lifeguards either. There are now, after an ABC 20/20 story by investigative reporter Brian Ross ran in July of 2005. Finally, an embarrassed Walton County decided to put lifeguards on five of their many beaches. Only five, but it’s a start. Last year lifeguard director Gary Wise and his small crew rescued 21, assisted over 400, and educated over 50,000 on the dangers of rip currents.

But there have been more deaths. Two more drowned this year near Grayton Beach (which still doesn’t have a lifeguard, but that’s another story). And here is the moral of my story:

Don’t swim where there are no lifeguards. It’s not the sharks that will get you, it’s the currents. Consider these facts from the U.S. Lifeguard Association:

• Rip currents kill over 100 people a year — a toll that puts them ahead of lightning (66) and hurricanes (17). Rip currents can occur at any surf beach with breaking waves, including the Great Lakes.
• More than 80 percent of all lifesaving rescues reported each year by the U.S. Lifesaving Association are a result of people caught in rip currents.
• USLA statistics indicate that the chance of death by drowning at a beach protected by lifeguards is 1 in 18 million.

Next, educate yourselves. Teach your children too. In most cases, simple actions such as not panicking, not fighting the current and swimming parallel to the beach would have enabled the victims to save themselves. In fact, that’s exactly how an educated bystander helped my Ryan get safely out of the water. But by then Larry was far out in the waves, and he did not know the USLA’s basics of rip current survival:

• Remain calm to conserve energy and think clearly.
• Never fight against the current.
• Think of it like a treadmill that cannot be turned off, which you need to step to the side of.
• Swim out of the current in a direction following the shoreline. When out of the current, swim at an angle–away from the current–towards shore.
• If you are unable to swim out of the rip current, float or calmly tread water. When out of the current, swim towards shore.
• If you are still unable to reach shore, draw attention to yourself by waving your arm and yelling for help.

.

The USLA also stresses that if you see someone in a rip current, don’t go in after them, because you (like Ken Brindley) could become a victim too. Instead:

• Get help from a lifeguard.
• If a lifeguard is not available, have someone call 9-1-1.
• Throw the rip current victim something that floats–a lifejacket, a cooler, an inflatable ball.
• Yell instructions on how to escape.
• Remember, many people drown while trying to save someone else from a rip current.

Please, share this with everyone you know. Educate everyone about how to survive a rip, but more than that, seek out lifeguards. Don’t swim without them, and if your favorite vacation spot doesn’t provide them, demand they do. It’s your life on the line, and it’s their responsibility to protect it.

.

Technorati Tags: water safety, rip currents, Larry LaMotte, lifeguards, beach safety, summer